What a Difference!

It's amazing what a really good night's sleep can do for you!  Perspective comes back - reality is clear.  I remember now why yesterday's events had to happen. Which makes me think.....Reality is all about perspective.
I see things differently than others may see the same thing. And on a broader plane, people with similar experiences are more likely to see things my way than how other will see them.  Some things are pretty much irrefutable facts.  Grass is green, the sky is blue, etc.  Most everything else is a matter of shading.
The most basic difference between us is gender.  It's pretty accepted that women think differently than men.  We see behaviors differently.  Sometimes what seems like reasonable behavior to a man is totally unacceptable to women, and vice versa.  Truthfully, though, most of the time we know when what we are doing is hurtful to others.  Sometimes we can stop the behaviour, and sometimes we just can't.
Yes, I got hurt.  It happened over a period of time.  The person I trusted to care for my emotions apparently didn't, yet he couldn't bring himself to admit it.  I don't know why, and trying to figure it out is an exercise in futility because he is the only one that can answer it.
But it goes both ways.  He got hurt too, and while I feel like I acted reasonably and kindly, he may not look at it that way.
A breakup doesn't happen overnight.  It doesn't  happen because of one event.  It's a series of events that eventually make one person understand that their perspective is not shared or understood by the other person, regardless of words that are spoken.
This is where the emotional bank comes in.  When we share experiences and do things for others, deposits occur.  Withdrawals occur when hurts happen - the hurts may be small or large - deceit, forgetfulness, disregard.  The goal is to keep the deposits larger than the hurts.  Show a willingness to fix things - make deposits into the bank.  Constant withdrawals drain even the largest accounts.
I have always believed that anything can be worked out if both people want to.  They both have to be willing to talk about what brought them to the breaking point, and commit to making the relationship greater than the hurt.  It can be healed.  I believe that.  I just don't know if he does.